Buyaathaillah's Blog

Theology : Islam and Polygamy

Why Men in islam is allowed to have 4 wife or Polygamy ?

Polygamy means a system of marriage whereby one person has more than one spouse. Polygamy can be of two types. One is polygyny where a man marries more than one woman, and the other is polyandry, where a woman marries more than one man. In Islam, limited polygyny is permitted and polyandry is completely prohibited. Why Polyandry is prohibited ? Women marrying more than one man would not fulfill the original purpose of polygamy, which was for men with sufficient resources (economic and spiritual) to provide and care for widowed women and their children. Additionally, in a pre-modern world it would have been challenging to determine paternity of any children from such a marriage.

Now coming to the original question, why is a man allowed to have more than one wife?

The context of this phrase is the following verse from Surah Nisa of the Glorious Qur’an: ‘Marry woman of your choice in twos’ threes’ or fours’ but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly, (with them), then only one’ [Al-Qur’an 4:3]

Qur’an is the only religious book, on the face of this earth, that contains the phrase ‘marry only one’. There is no other religious book that instructs men to have only one wife. In none of the religious scriptures like the Vedas, the Ramayan, the Mahabharat, the Geeta or the Bible does one find a restriction on the number of wives. According to these scriptures one can marry as many as one wishes. It was only later, that the Hindu priests and the Christian Church restricted the number of wives to one.

Notice that the Qur’an permits but does not command a man to have four wives. Furthermore, the Qur’an stipulates that a man is responsible for the maintenance of his wife or wives. If a man has more than one wife, he has to provide separate living accommodation for each of his wives. Multiple marriages are a heavy responsibility on the male. It is not a pleasure trip as some people may assume. Some even imagine all kinds of sexual exploits involving a man and his wives altogether. However, such activity is not permissible in Islam. A man must divide his time equally among his wives. He may, for example, spend one night with each wife on a rotating schedule. If a man cannot maintain justice in the treatment of his wives, the Qur’an stipulates that he is to have no more than one wife.

The norm in Islam is monogamy as emphasized in numerous Qur’anic verses that discuss the creation of all things in pairs, beginning with Adam and Eve.

Polygamy was not initiated by Islam but existed in many pre-Islamic cultures, including those referenced in the Bible, which mentions, for example, Abraham, David, Jacob, and others having more than one wife. In Arabia before Islam men married women without any limitations on the number. Islam restricted this practice according to very strict, defined conditions. While Islamic teachings allow for more than one wife, the condition for such a marriage is that a man be fair and equal in his treatment of each wife. However, the Qur’an states, “You will never be able to treat women the same, no matter how hard to try…” (Qur’an, 4:129). The verse in the Qur’an allowing this practice was revealed in the context of war and caring for orphans. Polygamy at this point in history provided assistance to widowed women with children who otherwise would have been left to fend for themselves in a brutally patriarchal social order.
Today polygamy is only practiced by a small minority of Muslims, mainly in societies where it is culturally acceptable such as in Africa or the Arabian Peninsula. According to Islamic teachings, a wife who does not accept a polygamous relationship can write this stipulation into the marriage contract and seek a divorce if her husband marries another woman. If Muslims live in a country where polygamy is illegal, which includes many Muslim-populated countries, they must abide by the rules of that country.

Many Hindu religious personalities, according to their scriptures, had multiple wives. King Dashrat, the father of Rama, had more than one wife. Krishna had several wives. In earlier times, Christian men were permitted as many wives as they wished, since the Bible puts no restriction on the number of wives. It was only a couple of centuries ago that the Church restricted the number of wives to one.

Polygyny is permitted in Judaism. According to Talmudic law, Abraham had 2 wives, and Solomon had hundreds of wives. The practice of polygyny continued till Rabbi Gershom ben Yehudah. (960 A.D to 1030 A.D) issued an edict against it. The Jewish Sephardic communities living in Muslim countries continued the practice till as late as 1950, when an Act of the chief Rabbinate of Israel extended the ban on marrying more than one wife.

The report of the ‘Committee of The Status of Woman in Islam’, published in 1975 mentions on page numbers 66,67 that the percentage of polygamous marriages between the year 1951 -1961 was 5.06 among the Hindus and only 4.31 among the Muslims. According to Indian law only Muslim men are permitted to have more than one wife. It is illegal for any non-Muslim in India to have more than one wife. Despite it being illegal, Hindus have more multiple wives as compared to the Muslim. One can imagine what would have been the percentage of polygamous marriages among the Hindus if the Indian government had made it legal for them. Earlier, there was no restriction even on Hindu men with respect to the number of wives allowed. It was only in 1954, when the Hindu Marriage Act was passed that it became illegal for a Hindu to have more than one wife. At present it is the Indian Law that restricts a Hindu man from having more than one wife and not the Hindu scriptures. Let us now analyse why Islam allows a man to have more than one wife.

Before the Qur’an was revealed, there was no upper limit for polygyny and many men had scores of wives, some even hundreds. Islam put an upper limit of four wives. Islam gives a man permission to marry two, three or four women, only on the condition that he deals with them justly. In the same chapter i.e. Surah Nisa verse 129 says: ‘It is very difficult to be just and fair between women’. [Al-Qur’an (4:129)]

Therefore polygyny is not a rule but an exception. Many people are under the misconception that it is compulsory for a Muslim man to marry more than one wife.

Broadly, Islam has five categories of Do’s and Dont’s.

(i) ‘Farz’ i.e compulsory

(ii) ‘Mustahab’ i.e recommended or encouraged

(iii) ‘Mubah’ i.e permissible

(iv) ‘Makruh’ i.e ‘not recommended’ or discouraged

(v) ‘Haram’ i.e prohibited or forbidden

Polygyny falls in the middle category of things that are permissible. It cannot be said that a Muslim who has two, three or four wives is a better Muslim as compared to a Muslim who has only one wife.

Below are facts regarding the condition today, and islam gives solution by allowing (not endorsing ) man to have 4 wifes :

Average life span of females is more than that of males By nature males and females are born in approximately the same ratio. During paediatric age however, in childhood itself a female child has more immunity than a male child. A female child can fight the germs and diseases better than the male child. For this reason, there are more deaths among males as compared to the females during paediatric age.

During wars, there are more men killed as compared to women. More men die due to accidents and diseases than women. The average life span of females is more than that of males, and at any given time one finds more widows in the world than widowers.

India has more male population than female due to female foeticide and infanticide. India is one of the few countries, along with the other neighbouring countries, in which the female population is less than the male population. The reason lies in the high rate of female infanticide in India, and the fact that more than one million female foetuses are aborted every year in this country, after they are identified as females. If this evil practice is stopped, then India too will have more females as compared to males.

World female population is more than male population In the USA, women outnumber men by 7.8 million. New York alone has one million more females as compared to the number of males, and of the male population of New York one-third are gays i.e sodomites. The USA as a whole has more than twenty-five million gays. This means that these people do not wish to marry women. Great Britain has four million more females as compared to males. Germany has five million more females as compared to males. Russia has nine million more females than males. God alone knows how many million more females there are in the whole world as compared to males. Moreover, Most of the prisons around the world are occupied by men.

Restricting each and every man to have only one wife is not practical Even if every man got married to one woman, there would still be more than thirty million more females in USA who would not be able to get husbands (considering that America has twenty five million gays). There would be more than four million females in Great Britain 5 million females in Germany and nine million females in Russia alone who would not be able to find a husband.

Suppose my sister happens to be one of the unmarried women living in USA, or suppose your sister happens to be one of the unmarried women in USA. The only two options remaining for her are that she either marries a man who already has a wife or becomes public property. There is no other option. I have posed this question to hundreds of non-Muslims and all opted for the first. However a few smart people before accepting, said they would prefer their sisters to remain virgins. Biologically, it is not possible for an average man or a woman to remain celibate throughout life. It may be possible in exceptional cases of one in ten thousand. In the vast majority, the person either gets married or performs illicit sex or indulges in other sexual perversions. Sex hormones are released in the adult body every day. That is the reason why Islam has prohibited monasticism.

In Western society it is common for a man to have mistresses and/or multiple extra-marital affairs, in which case, the woman leads a disgraceful, unprotected life. The same society, however, cannot accept a man having more than one wife, in which women retain their honourable, dignified position in society and lead a protected life.

Thus the only two options before a woman who cannot find a husband is to marry a married man or to become public property. Islam prefers giving women the honourable position by permitting the first option and disallowing the second. There are several other reasons, why Islam has permitted limited polygyny, but it is mainly to protect the modesty of women.

Karen Armstrong explains much the same in her book entitled Muhammad: A Western Attempt to Understand Islam. She says:
“We have to see the ruling about polygamy in context. In seventh-century Arabia, when a man could have as many wives as he chose, to prescribe only four was a limitation, not a license to new oppression”

(Karen Armstrong, Muhammad: A Western Attempt to Understand Islam, Victor Gollancz Ltd., 1991, p.191).

It is unfortunate that the Western media often gives the wrong impression of what Islam is all about. Karen Armstrong writes:

Popular films like Harem give an absurd and inflated picture of the sexual life of the Muslim sheikh which reveals more about Western fantasy than it does about the reality (p.190).

One of the most important concepts we must first understand is that Muslims believe that this is a ruling from God. God allows men to marry more than one wife is not an instruction but exceptional or permissive with requirement of Just and Fair among the wifes. When God prohibits a certain thing or allows a certain thing, the sincere and practicing Muslim does not argue with the rulings of God. This is because if a person really does believe that there is a God who created everything in existence, and that this God is the most wise, all knowing and most merciful, and that this God has sent us a religion to follow that contains instructions on how we should live our lives, then this person will not hesitate to follow these instructions. This is because God, being the most wise, all knowing and most merciful, certainly knows what is best for us as humans, since God is the one who created us. God wants us to live a happy and peaceful life, and so anything that is prohibited or allowed is made to be so because God knows that it will improve our live and enable us to achieve happiness and fulfillment.

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